Oaklaw Nopry Music

In relationships there is a double standard that the woman can be very emotional but the man can not. This is true to an extent, the man can emotional but not as emotional as the woman or she will be running for the hills, and you will lose most women there after. Once you have what it means to be a solid oak tree A LOT of your emotional tendencies fall off. Being an oak doesn’t mean you are an emotionless robot, it just means to be free of fear, doubts and insecurities.

In my upcoming blog “what it means to be a man” I talk about the one characteristic that defines a man: courage. With the right girl it is more than ok to have fear just as long as you have the courage to push through this fear.

The only limiting factor that prevents men and women from having true sexual polarity and becoming who they are in their nature (yin/yang, leader/follower, dominant/submissive) is fear. To be yin, a woman must be strong enough to let go and completely follow the man’s lead. Its fear of being toyed with and screwed over that prevents this from happening. In the past she was needy and let guys get away with whatever they wanted. This memory is brought to the surface whenever she tries to be yin and the fear of looking stupid for giving away her power is too strong for her to be submissive.

For a man, there are many fears around being yang, masculine and leader. He fears that he will be thought of as controlling by his friends, family and especially the girl but controlling is not yang. You can never control anyone because of free will.

Deeper than this, he fears that if the girl thinks he is controlling she will leave. He also fears that the whole dominant/submissive, yin/yang polarity will be abusive to the woman or that he will become drunk on his power and go overboard. But one of the biggest fears is that he will have to force himself to become an unemotional robot who mechanically works his way through his relationships.

Being yang doesn’t mean that you behave like you just had a stroke. A lot of the emotions that most of today’s men express are based in fear, doubt and insecurity. I’m going to break down each of these emotional states that guys fear losing.

Anger

Anger is a very strong and useless emotion. Guys often confuse this with being a man-its not. They hear the word spanking ( raising ones voice to get a girls attention when they are acting in fear and insecurity) and think that it comes from anger. Yelling in anger will actually cause the girl to lose trust for a guy. Whenever we become highly emotional we become off balance and no longer hold that rock/oak tree position.

If her going out to a club angers you, you are no longer calm and relaxed and just re-acting to her behavior. She knows that you are not centered and can be pushed into different directions. People trust what is consistent and reliable. Emotional, childish outbursts aren’t trustworthy.

Not reacting to anything she does is trustworthy, anger is not.

All anger is based in fear, insecurity and lack of acceptance of oneself or others. “We don’t hate what people are but what they aren’t.”

Over joy and excitement

I talked in length about over joy and over excitement in my post http://innergamereframe.com/treat-it-like-the-most-natural-thing-in-the-world/

To finish reading check out An Emotional Oak Tree Part Two